This summer's heat is record breaking

I came in early yesterday and finished a whole PCR before anyone came in. No one acknowledged it, but I felt proud.

2 women in the lab think I'm hilarious. I did a spontaneous twirl in lab and they cracked up. I dropped a test tube and they cracked up. Sometimes they'll say my name, look right at me, start talking in Bengali, and then crack up. Yesterday I mixed agarose up with agar and I heard them in Bengali mentioning the incident "laskdjflj Agar alskdjf ha ha." So I ran into the bathroom to cry. It's not the incident itself that was all that traumatizing but a compilation of frustrations that burst forth.

During the monsoon you have to be careful not to step into the lakes of water because you can be electrified by a fallen wire or fall into an open manhole. Both uncomfortably common.

We did a trial of a food service that would bring our meals on a daily basis at a designated time. A man brought 2 meals to our apartment when we got home at 9pm. Rice, Dall, vegetables, and a few pieces of chicken. It was fun but we haven't decided if we will order their service.

India has a languid, hearty thickness to it. It's deep and complicated--you can feel it. Its life is riddled with superstitions and religion I can only begin to recognize let alone understand.

I've been reading more Tagore. His short stories are shockingly morbid. It's appropriate as I feel India is also morbid. All the open hands and averted eyes. With no distraction from myself, India has forced me to confront my nihilistic godless life view. It's fucking depressing. Why keep going on going on when we must all stop forever?

My goal in India is to reconcile my beliefs or lack of and either find a spirituality that doesn't just quiet my thoughts but I actually believe in, or find peace in the views I hold now.

It didn't rain again. It is hot hot hot.