Addendum to Last Entry

I don't know if the last part of my last entry was coherent. I was (and am) feeling frantic about the situation. I have been battling enormous guilt since I arrived. "Sorry and Thank You" is my mantra. Sorry for messing up my experiment and using reagents I'm sure you can't afford, Thank You for making your students accompany me everywhere, Sorry I made you stay out late away from your family to help me find a towel and food, Thank You for spending hours negotiating with the landlord on my behalf, Sorry for being a woman, Sorry for being white. They don't seem to having this shuffling guilt. They yell at waiters and cab drivers, ignore maintenance men and demand what they want from store owners. I need to learn from them because the way I've been acting makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. I was so shocked when the tenants said they didn't want me and my husband Michael (:-p) to live there. My money isn't good enough? What did I do to you? I have never been the brunt of prejudice. It was humbling.