The trip to Shubrutu's village

Saturday We got to the bus station an hour before it was to leave so we would be guaranteed a seat on the long drive. I wasn’t complaining, all around me people were living on the street—their lives covered in tarps. On the bus, I sat in the Ladies Section pressed against a window. The old woman sitting next to me would sporadically grab my wrist, scaring the shit out of me, to look at the time. Once we got out of the city, India was a different world. Women and men bent over the vast rice patties, cows had rule and the sun was low and red. People lived in grass huts and pumped water from wells and had no electricity but the crazy thing was everyone was so happy looking—completely peaceful and settled.  

We arrived at the village in the dark. The village clustered around a main brick road busily surrounded by all of the shops and markets. We walked through the quiescent night to the house using a torch to see, down twisting dirt paths and a lake. The house is situated in a circle around a large open courtyard, which contains the latrine (squat toilet with shower head), kitchen and large table to eat big family meals. The family consisted of a grandfather, 3 brothers and their wives and children. It was busy and warm. It also made me feel very homesick—a feeling I couldn’t shake for a lot of the weekend. I should give myself a break, this is some first trip away from home: very poor country, on my own, long hours, an apartment far away from everyone, incredible cultural divide. It’s not easy. 

 Immediately after I got there and after I had given my two boxes filled with Bengali sweets to Shubrutu’s mother as thanks, we were sat down and served cha and samosas. Oh dear god they were good. In a typical Bengali fashion, only until after we were fed were we introduced to everyone. Michael and I did not stay in the house but in a guest lodge. As much of an experience it would be, I was thanking god I would not have to use that latrine. The guest lodge rooms had a lot of windows, a mosquito net and a very very large lizard. We explored the town with Shubrutu and visited his 2 uncle’s electronic shops. There was a power cut and the stores switched to candles. When we went back to Shubrutu’s house a fabulous dinner was laid out by candlelight. Duck eggs, fresh salad, Roti, Dal, Mutton, sweets, it was the best food I’ve had in India yet and it was all prepared by the women of the household. But the food was just for laid out for Michael and me. The rest of them sat or stood watching us as we ate, waiting for our reactions. It was incredibly uncomfortable but I knew from my large family of food lovers not to leave them hanging so I proclaimed and talked about the food after every bite. When we got back to the lodge, we hung our mosquito nets and treated them with mosquito repellent, and the sheets, and put in a mosquito repellent wall plug and covered ourselves in mosquito repellent, turned on the fan, opened the windows and went to sleep. If I’m not going to get malaria, I’ll definitely get cancer. I woke up several times throughout the night with the gripping feeling I couldn’t breathe and was underwater—the humidity was that bad. Sunday/Monday I lay in bed for 15 minutes before getting up Sunday morning. For the first time I felt like I was in India. The mosquito net was moving with the fan and the windows were open letting in the sounds of a symphony of birds. I could smell smoke from shops opening and starting to cook. We walked to the house and ate a breakfast of duck eggs, toast with jam and cha. Shubrutu brought us out bicycles and we went on a bike ride to a nearby village to visit all of the local temples. I have never been happier. This is the way to see India. Down a thinly paved road we passed farmers starting their day, women with large pots on their head to bring water from the well, other bicyclists and people bathing in the many lakes. We visited several temples and I took many pictures. I feel the pictures may capture the deep sense of tradition and vibrancy that maybe my words cannot. We stopped and sat by a lake passing around a mango and watching people bathe and rest in the shade. 

 On the way back I maaay have almost passed out from dehydration/the sun. It was so hot the rest of the day went like: rest, lunch, rest, small outing, rest, dinner, rest, sleep. Our lunch was another feast, which I have posted and labeled on my flickr. I know I’m talking a lot about the food, but I’m almost not talking about it enough. It is so relevant. After we took lunch, the women invited me into their room and the cousin, who was obsessed with me, performed all his tricks while his mom egged him on. “No, no it’s TWINKLE little star. Try again.” Ahhh family. 

 After our lunch rest, we took the bikes over to a big field outside a school. I was the only woman on the entire field. Michael went to play soccer with some other boys/men. It was funny to watch them dribble around cows. I just chilled, read my book and watched the game. The boys were completely infatuated with Michael and kept asking him for his number and “do you like me?” The game went into the dark night and then broke up into little circles of boys listening to music or playing cards or talking all by candlelight. 

 Our huddle listened to Michael Jackson on a cell phone. It was a really bizarre tribute. Earlier, I became completely obsessed that the village had many King Cobras just slithering around. I was determined to see/catch one during the day, but when I found out the field we were sitting in, in the dark, was right near a nest I was less eager. The boys kept scaring me…they didn’t know my name or “hello” but they did know the words “KING COBRA!” Nice. When we got home after dinner there was a power out which was impossible to sleep through. Then we woke up at 5:30 in the morning and got to the bus station, and into lab at 9 for a full days work. I was in a dream state all Monday. Which may be why I dropped my camera, broke it and as a result had to go to a Canon repair store (I found them! I found the people you talk to on the electronic help lines! They’re at 3 Shakespeare Sarani Road!) and pay $120 for them to fix my camera. 

Friday

Feeling stressed about lab, long distance relationship issues and not getting much sleep or feeling that well made me take a mental health day. I stayed in, returned emails, read, wrote, slept, and watched Ocean's Eleven. All in the AC. It was decadent.

I was invited by a guy in my lab, Shubrutu, to spend the weekend at his parent's house (with Michael) in a village near Kolkata. We're leaving by bus tomorrow at 3pm and it will take us about 4 hours to get there. I can only imagine what's in store for us. I am going to pack for camping. We'll be returning Monday early morning and going straight into lab. I'll update my blog as soon as I can.

!!!!!

Wait, Fast, Meditate

Wednesday The hardest part of being here is figuring out what to do with myself. There are no friends, restaurants, TV, and there is limited internet, mobility and time. After a long hard day at Lab, I leave to catch my taxi in the dark and it's hard to motivate. Yesterday was the festival Rathyatra. Two brother gods leave their house once a year in a big chariot to visit their grandma. That's it. It's kind of a kids holiday where they make their own miniature chariots and pull them all around the city. I have never seen this many children on the streets of Kolkata. It was fun. The boys grabbed their chariots and raced each other, and the girls in their party dressed smiled and held their parents hand. The chariots got very elaborate. I saw one blocking half of the EM bypass. It looked like a huge lit up christmas tree with a large stereo system in the back chanting "Hare Krishna." A whole team of families needed to help pull it. I decided it might be fun to get some beers and watch the festivities from my balcony. Finding a liquor store and then one that was open was an adventure. When I finally found one it looked like a drug dealership--if they had store front windows. A bunch of men crowding a barred window and being handed things wrapped in newspaper. Then they would stuff it in their bags and walk away. Yes I was the only woman and no mom don't be scared, I got them and was on my way. I went home, turned on some Manu Chao (which my college roommate taught me makes everything better) and cooked some thai vegetable stirfry (vegetables, thin noodles, coconut milk, lime and ginger). Then I went onto the balcony with my hard earned beer and watch the few kids in our neighborhood out and finished my book Bel Canto. Thursday It was a stupid day in lab. My PCRs, which I'm doing beautifully thank you, are having unknown problems. But the stupid part is, we do a PCR and then literally wait for it to finish to figure out where to go next. My first PCR finished 3 1/2 hours later and didn't work. Then we started the next one at 6, and Moumita I think was a little peeved when I said I didn't want to stick around (until 9) to see the band. I did however have a talk with her about possibly doing mutliple PCR's at once so there is always something to do and we could have multiple results at a time. Moumita said, yes that would be great but we only have 2 PCR machines and Shubrutu needs one too. FUCK. Our lab is so poor it's so sad. I planned on writing an angry email I would most definitely regret as soon as I got home. But I got locked out of my apartment (new complicated locks were installed at our apartment). The only thing I had with me was Siddhartha. It all just seemed so laughably fate- like I didnt' write that email and instead read for an hour or so waiting for Michael to come home. Little note about the heat: You know when you step behind a car exhaust and you feel that intense fleeting heat? That's Kolkata. And then add humidity you can bite through. Michael and I switch off who gets AC every night. I look forward to my nights and my heart skips a beat.

Tuesday

I haven't talked to Sir yet about traveling because I've been working surprisingly decent non stressful hours. I want to have just gotten out of work 12 hours later, red eyed and sloppy in order to really drive my point home.

I've been looking into different places to visit. My top choices were the jungles, where I could go on an elephant safari and watch Bengal Tigers and leopards and get away from the city. But they're all closed due to monsoon season. Which like whatever I think is just a big lie to keep the white people away for a few months. So maybe I'll go to Darjeeling. This mountaintop top city bordering Nepal where the best teas in the world are grown and the hiking is breathtaking. Maybe I'll take a train there and fly back. Domestic flights are almost all under $150 round trip anyway. And I'm more excited about the romanticism of the train that the trip actually.

Michael and I took the bus to Big Bazaar to go grocery shopping. On the bus an attractive young woman (in her mid twenties prob) told me to come stand by her. I was scared someone was pick pocketing me by how adamant she was. Turns out she was just being nice and she had a nice spot by the window big enough for two. Go figure. Her name was Jyoda and had a perfect English accent. She offered to show me and Michael around whenever we wanted and we got her phone number. She takes the bus to this nearby beach town sometimes on the weekend with her friends. My new goal is to make best friends with her and have her take us. I'll let you know how that goes.

We had many packages leaving Big Bazaar and decided to try a bike rickshaw. Michael bargained the guy down to 8 rupees (roughly 18 cents) to take us and our packages to the main crossing. I couldn't enjoy my first rickshaw ride because Michael and I got into a heated debate. My point: Why bargain with someone over cents? Why not give them the same we would in America? Why perpetuate the standards set by a third world country when we can afford to do otherwise?

His point: It's unfair to use American standards of living in another country, the cost of living is infinitely lower here. They expect us to bargain, that's what everyone does. Why get taken advantage of just because we can afford it? (Michael feel free to add your own side.)

Anyway as a result he gave the guy 8 rupees and I gave him 100 rupees (roughly $2) which was kind of exorbitant and ridiculous but I had to prove my point, right? :-p

Weekend Update

Saturday On my taxi ride to the lab I listened to my ipod on shuffle. Kolkata’s morning markets and rickshaws passed by to Bob Marley, Melissa Etherdige and The Pixies. It was beyond surreal. Moumita, Sreelupa, Michael and I went first to the Indian museum (the largest museum in India!) We looked through dusty cases at formaldehyde babies and old fossils. The religious statues were over 5000 years old, and completely out in the open willing you to touch (I did!) A Buddhist statue from the 4th century had the initials JD carved into it. Then we went to the New Market. It reminded me of Chinatown. Stores and stalls and blankets of beautiful fashion, knockoffs, food and accessories. I was quite good at bargaining, but was too overwhelmed by the process (and tired from the museum) to buy much. When I would walk into a store, every possible store agent would ignore everyone (Michael, sreelupa, moumita, other customers) and focus on me bringing me out the most beautiful and expensive items in the store. I was their white suga momma. Decked out in nasty old backpack, sweat and sloppy bun. 

 Sir wanted Moumita to help me pick out a formal traditional Salwar and he would pay for it. We went to this airconditioned mall with nothing but stores selling fabric, sarees and salwars. I went up into the attic of this one store and waited in the incense for Moumita to bring me up the most expensive Salwars. I felt like a princess. Moumita and Sreelupa would come up after to see how they looked. If they were too low cut or tight they wouldn’t let me go downstairs to the mirror (where the men could see) and instead took a picture of me. The Salwars they picked were gorgeous, bewelled and very colorful. But unless I was going to a bollywood premiere I couldn’t imagine ever wearing them. Instead I picked out a simpler, tight fitting grey and orange salwar (I’ll post pictures when I wear it) which is still stunning and formal. Sunday After an empowering talk with my mom I decided to stick it to the Sir and tell him I don’t want to work so many hours and/or I want to take some time off at some point to travel. (It sounded a lot stronger after the conversation.) And, also at her request, I put down the Tagore for a bit :-p I went on the metro and into Park street to visit the Oxford Book store to see what I could find. I sat up in the rafters and drank cha with a ton of other white people who knew of the bookstore from the Planet Guide. I met a couple from France and a woman researching in Delhi (who was from Georgia!). I found a book called 50 getaways From Kolkata, which is perfect for planning a trip by train. Planning makes me so happy and calm. I also bought Siddhartha. Having had fun talking in English I visited another coffee house, Flury’s, and met a very pierced out couple from Australia who were traveling around India. I invited them to meditate at night but they never showed. I also met and then ate lunch with 4 nurses (in training) who were traveling. They said they could tell I have been in India for awhile because of my head bobbing when I talk. I met Michael for meditation but felt sick from having walked around all day and barely drinking water so I couldn’t get into it. Monday I was a villager tonight. Stopped into the market. Shopped at the only stall run by a woman. Her stall was full of vegetables and lit by candles. She was savvy and used a medieval hand held scaled where she put stones on one plate and my vegetables (a carrot, 2 petite eggplants, 2 tomatoes, ginger, and a lime) on the other plate. The whole lot came to 29 ruppees or roughly 75 cents. I stopped by my local dvd place to pick up a movie. The boys love me there. They bring out all the romantic comedies so I can see them (…previous rental habits) and ask me lots of questions about movies and smile a lot. I always linger. I got a chicken roll for dinner (chicken wrapped in freshly made naan, red onion, and lime). I stopped by this man who was making corn. He peels it, lets you inspect it, then roasts it over burning coals, salts it and rubs it with lime. It is perfect. I ate it on my way home balancing all my other packages in my other hand so I could eat with the other. The city is very loud at night. Families go to the market all balanced on one bike (tiny baby sitting on fathers lap in front). Others grab dinner right off the street in food carts. The night is my favorite part of Kolkata. No one looks at me—I blend in. 

I've been here for 3 weeks...crazy

I decided to clean the lab. My toilet paper came up black again and again. I can't believe they let it get like that--our work is so sensitive to contamination. What I wouldn't give to spend a day scrubbing and throwing out all the useless broken things that are hoarded. I don't think they would appreciate that though.

I went to a cultural performance at the institute to honor Tagore. There was singing and poetry and plays. All of which I didn't understand--which isn't anything new. I've learned to appreciate the nuances behind the language and let them tell a story. Sreerupa's singing stays with me long after she's done.

I met at man at the performance who is doing a summer internship in the Immunology department and is from Brandeis university in Boston! We couldn't talk much during the performances but in between we would frantically talk. He is originally from Kolkata (left when he was 7) and wants to take Michael and I around the city. He told me his name so I could look him up on facebook but I must have remembered wrong and couldn't find him. DOH. I guess we'll just have to stalk the whole Immunology department now...

All of my emotions and thoughts are heightened here because there's nothing else to do but think. Love becomes frenetic, sadness depression and little insecurities make me doubt my self worth. I usually have so many people to bounce things off of, talk me down, put me in perspective. A gaggle of girlfriends to help analyze, rationalize, and decide.

This trip is so good for me.

This summer's heat is record breaking

I came in early yesterday and finished a whole PCR before anyone came in. No one acknowledged it, but I felt proud.

2 women in the lab think I'm hilarious. I did a spontaneous twirl in lab and they cracked up. I dropped a test tube and they cracked up. Sometimes they'll say my name, look right at me, start talking in Bengali, and then crack up. Yesterday I mixed agarose up with agar and I heard them in Bengali mentioning the incident "laskdjflj Agar alskdjf ha ha." So I ran into the bathroom to cry. It's not the incident itself that was all that traumatizing but a compilation of frustrations that burst forth.

During the monsoon you have to be careful not to step into the lakes of water because you can be electrified by a fallen wire or fall into an open manhole. Both uncomfortably common.

We did a trial of a food service that would bring our meals on a daily basis at a designated time. A man brought 2 meals to our apartment when we got home at 9pm. Rice, Dall, vegetables, and a few pieces of chicken. It was fun but we haven't decided if we will order their service.

India has a languid, hearty thickness to it. It's deep and complicated--you can feel it. Its life is riddled with superstitions and religion I can only begin to recognize let alone understand.

I've been reading more Tagore. His short stories are shockingly morbid. It's appropriate as I feel India is also morbid. All the open hands and averted eyes. With no distraction from myself, India has forced me to confront my nihilistic godless life view. It's fucking depressing. Why keep going on going on when we must all stop forever?

My goal in India is to reconcile my beliefs or lack of and either find a spirituality that doesn't just quiet my thoughts but I actually believe in, or find peace in the views I hold now.

It didn't rain again. It is hot hot hot.